I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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