Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
