If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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