we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
