Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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