Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
