How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
