just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
