i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize