when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Randomize
