sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
