Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize