I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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