walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
