it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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