Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
