you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
