Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just want nice things and good sex
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
