***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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