he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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