It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
