hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize