its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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