You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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