nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
