Im at strip club and am horny
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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