If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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