Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
