i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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