You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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