I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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