that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
