I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Rumble strips road head = magical
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize