i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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