I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
