Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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