I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I could fuck to npr.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
