I got chris browned last night
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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