there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I deserve this hangover.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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