we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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