Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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