Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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