Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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