butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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