I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
