Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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