this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
