I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize