He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
