You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Two words: nipple clamps
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