just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
