im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
