bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
