...so i touched it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
