Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
