not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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