are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
