Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
