You just made me feel so damn special
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
