Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
