I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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