Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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