An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
